Mother means a few different things.
As a noun it's a title. As in: "I am the mother of (fill in the blank).
As a verb it can mean these things:
I'm also going to hit on taking care of ourselves. This looks different for everyone. I've laid that out in other posts. But we MUST remember to do the things that bring us peace. Or calm. Or order to our lives. We need to be disciplined and battle hardened to take care of ourselves and our kids at the same time. So let's be like soldiers in boot camp and do the things every day that build our physical, mental and emotional muscles. Because to mother is to enter a life long process to mold and shape our kids into acceptable members of society. And let's face it,
To mother is a beautiful journey. It's just as much about finding ourselves as it is discovering who the people you are caring for are meant to be. To mother is sweet infant snuggles, desperate late night cries. It's pudgy toddler hands bringing you slugs or flowers. Both generously offered with all the hope their hearts contain. It's guiding our nervous but determined preschooler down an unfamiliar hallway assuring ourselves and them they will find some friends. Mothering is watching your elementary school kid failing a spelling test for the first time. It's watching your middle school preteen have their first unrequited crush. Watching your adolescent turn into a young man and then launch into the world is perhaps both the scariest and most satisfying part of all. And we know that mothering continues long after our kids are young enough to be kids. That the worry, hope, fear, love and guidance really never stops. We just get more creative in how we present it to our offspring.
Because to be a mother is an all-consuming job. It's a life long career with no monetary gains. Very little short term returns and a whole lot of long term reward. We've got this, we're tough as mothers.
As a noun it's a title. As in: "I am the mother of (fill in the blank).
As a verb it can mean these things:
- bring up (a child) with care and affection.
- "she didn't know how to mother my brother and he was very sensitive"
- look after (someone) kindly and protectively, sometimes excessively so.
- "she felt mothered by her older sister
- Tough as a Mother
- The Mother of all (whatever)
- Quit Mothering me!
I am guilty, culpable, proud to have fulfilled each of these definitions. Of both noun, verb and phrase. I have embraced the word mother not just as a verb, but more as a call to action. As a way of life. A defining core principal I base most decisions upon.
When confronted with a decision we should ask ourselves, how will this affect my ability to mother? How will this affect my ability to bring up my kids with care and affection? When we're not honest about how something is going to impact our ability to nurture, support and build up our kids, it's usually our kids that bear the brunt of whatever negative impact happens. So it's really important to be honest about what's going to happen with the choices we make.
To mother means to be constantly pouring out of ourselves into the tiny to not so tiny funnels attached to sponges that are our children. With the responsibility of caring for another comes the responsibility to teach them what you know. A lot of the times I bet we're winging it. Or counting on google, Facebook, or a friend poll to make sure we're getting the information we need. This is why adult friends are necessary. They have experiences we don't. Maybe your friend has kids a little older, that has been thru the things in elementary, middle, high school and college and can offer some illumination to you on a road that is foggy most of the time. Or maybe you're that older friend who can say to the younger one, It's ok. My kid couldn't read at six months either. Or whatever the younger parent is worried about.
I'm also going to hit on taking care of ourselves. This looks different for everyone. I've laid that out in other posts. But we MUST remember to do the things that bring us peace. Or calm. Or order to our lives. We need to be disciplined and battle hardened to take care of ourselves and our kids at the same time. So let's be like soldiers in boot camp and do the things every day that build our physical, mental and emotional muscles. Because to mother is to enter a life long process to mold and shape our kids into acceptable members of society. And let's face it,
none of us really want our kids to be living in
the basement after the age of thirty.
To mother is a beautiful journey. It's just as much about finding ourselves as it is discovering who the people you are caring for are meant to be. To mother is sweet infant snuggles, desperate late night cries. It's pudgy toddler hands bringing you slugs or flowers. Both generously offered with all the hope their hearts contain. It's guiding our nervous but determined preschooler down an unfamiliar hallway assuring ourselves and them they will find some friends. Mothering is watching your elementary school kid failing a spelling test for the first time. It's watching your middle school preteen have their first unrequited crush. Watching your adolescent turn into a young man and then launch into the world is perhaps both the scariest and most satisfying part of all. And we know that mothering continues long after our kids are young enough to be kids. That the worry, hope, fear, love and guidance really never stops. We just get more creative in how we present it to our offspring.
Because to be a mother is an all-consuming job. It's a life long career with no monetary gains. Very little short term returns and a whole lot of long term reward. We've got this, we're tough as mothers.
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