Like it or not, my not so little guys are getting to the point that girls are becoming a factor. Also being a fan of the Enneagram, I thought it could be helpful for us parents to know what types of partners are not-so-little ones could be bringing home and how best for us to interact with them. I claim no expertise or training, just good ol' fashion fun and observation.
Type 1- This person could be described as uptight. Upon your first meeting, this future partner could seem OCD, controlling or sometimes shy. It's best to give this one the benefit of the doubt. If your child tends to need a lot of direction, this might be the person for them. As this type likes to tell others what and how to do things. If your family is a little bit free-spirited, tell your child to run from this relationship.
Type 2- This one is super nice, overly generous with offerings of help and will somehow take over planning your Grandma's 80th birthday party within two weeks of dating your child. This type is best handled with a firm No, thank-you. Bonus, they will always clean your kitchen after a meal. If your kid hates chores, this is the partner for them. If your kid needs a lot of space, they should immediately cut all ties and change their phone number as the Type 2 will continue to try and wheedle their way back into your child's (their ex's life) with offers of help hoping to rekindle the romance.
Type 3- This type is very closed off. They have a hard time with telling the truth and being honest. They can be a work-a-holic. If you're child is also a go-getter, this is the spouse for them. If your kid is more laid back and lacks self-motivation, they should just break it off now before the 3 leaves them in the dust for their career path.
Type 4- This person is going to show up at your dinner table with paint on their fingers, clay behind their left ear and pair of splattered Doc Martens on your door mat. There's going to be a lot of emotional processing and "defining the relationship" with this partner. There should probably be a counselor on speed dial for the partnership. If your kid likes talking about things that happened two years in the past and doesn't mind helping someone out of a funk, this is the person for them.
Type 5- This is a logical sort of person. They are well-researched on everything and tend to dislike people. If your kid finds themselves in a relationship with a 5, they should be ready for a lot of waiting for decisions, well-thought out arguments and have a willingness to say I'm not sure when asked a question. If your kid makes quick decisions or is frustrated by long wait times, this might not be the partner for them.
Type 6- A more loyal partner your child will never find. Once in a dating relationship, your child will need to move to a new state, change their identity and enter the witness protection plan if they ever want to leave this relationship. Your grown child should also be open to discussing conspiracy theories, UFOs and other events of paranoia. This type 6 is good for those who need to KNOW that their partner is with them FOREVER.
Type 7- This is a fun-loving, exciting type. Some might say they bring the party with them. This kind of person is a remake of Ricki Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" in real life. A type 7 will leave your child wondering what happened, how did I get here and whoa that was a good time, I'm glad I have pictures to know what was going on. If your kid likes adventure, this is your person. If your kid likes to stay inside and avoid large crowds, they may want to look elsewhere.
Type 8- This person will be assertive, confrontational and trying to talk about all the non-polite things at the dinner table. This person will be unapologetically wearing the pants in their family. A type 8 will be making all future decisions for themselves and your child. So if you don't want to see your grown kids at any future holiday, this is the partner for them. If your kid is a more alpha type, they should run and hide.
Type 9- This is a champion of passive-aggressive behavior. Sometimes seen as wishy washy or a flower child. This person might come in with beads around their neck and flowers in their hair. They may have inherited a few dozen cats from their friends, because they just can't risk a confrontation. A type 9 will always eat the meal in front of them even if they are a vegetarian and your serving lamb. If your kid doesn't mind being the driver, this is their partner.
Type 1- This person could be described as uptight. Upon your first meeting, this future partner could seem OCD, controlling or sometimes shy. It's best to give this one the benefit of the doubt. If your child tends to need a lot of direction, this might be the person for them. As this type likes to tell others what and how to do things. If your family is a little bit free-spirited, tell your child to run from this relationship.
Type 2- This one is super nice, overly generous with offerings of help and will somehow take over planning your Grandma's 80th birthday party within two weeks of dating your child. This type is best handled with a firm No, thank-you. Bonus, they will always clean your kitchen after a meal. If your kid hates chores, this is the partner for them. If your kid needs a lot of space, they should immediately cut all ties and change their phone number as the Type 2 will continue to try and wheedle their way back into your child's (their ex's life) with offers of help hoping to rekindle the romance.
Type 3- This type is very closed off. They have a hard time with telling the truth and being honest. They can be a work-a-holic. If you're child is also a go-getter, this is the spouse for them. If your kid is more laid back and lacks self-motivation, they should just break it off now before the 3 leaves them in the dust for their career path.
Type 4- This person is going to show up at your dinner table with paint on their fingers, clay behind their left ear and pair of splattered Doc Martens on your door mat. There's going to be a lot of emotional processing and "defining the relationship" with this partner. There should probably be a counselor on speed dial for the partnership. If your kid likes talking about things that happened two years in the past and doesn't mind helping someone out of a funk, this is the person for them.
Type 5- This is a logical sort of person. They are well-researched on everything and tend to dislike people. If your kid finds themselves in a relationship with a 5, they should be ready for a lot of waiting for decisions, well-thought out arguments and have a willingness to say I'm not sure when asked a question. If your kid makes quick decisions or is frustrated by long wait times, this might not be the partner for them.
Type 6- A more loyal partner your child will never find. Once in a dating relationship, your child will need to move to a new state, change their identity and enter the witness protection plan if they ever want to leave this relationship. Your grown child should also be open to discussing conspiracy theories, UFOs and other events of paranoia. This type 6 is good for those who need to KNOW that their partner is with them FOREVER.
Type 7- This is a fun-loving, exciting type. Some might say they bring the party with them. This kind of person is a remake of Ricki Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" in real life. A type 7 will leave your child wondering what happened, how did I get here and whoa that was a good time, I'm glad I have pictures to know what was going on. If your kid likes adventure, this is your person. If your kid likes to stay inside and avoid large crowds, they may want to look elsewhere.
Type 8- This person will be assertive, confrontational and trying to talk about all the non-polite things at the dinner table. This person will be unapologetically wearing the pants in their family. A type 8 will be making all future decisions for themselves and your child. So if you don't want to see your grown kids at any future holiday, this is the partner for them. If your kid is a more alpha type, they should run and hide.
Type 9- This is a champion of passive-aggressive behavior. Sometimes seen as wishy washy or a flower child. This person might come in with beads around their neck and flowers in their hair. They may have inherited a few dozen cats from their friends, because they just can't risk a confrontation. A type 9 will always eat the meal in front of them even if they are a vegetarian and your serving lamb. If your kid doesn't mind being the driver, this is their partner.
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