Friday, September 8, 2017

When I Ignore My Own Advice

This is a picture of what my kids rooms look like right now:

Which is not very surprising, because this is what my room currently looks like. 

What these pictures are, is a metaphor for our lives right now. It's like a state of chaos for our family. We had back to school, a trip over Labor Day weekend, I started subbing, my husband's job is busy. Church activities, school activities combined with a busy travel season and the normal hubbub of daily life has led to little to no time and energy to clean. Those are just the things that I have committed to. That's not counting the things I've seen that could potentially come to my plate. The opportunities that I've seen for me to be involved in are yet another serving of stress for this people pleaser/fixer.

I've been ignoring all my own wisdom and advice to slow down and say no. I've not been living intentionally. I have not been present. Instead of dealing with this chaos of clothes, toys and clutter and busyness, I've been reading books and watching the Great British Baking Challenge. That makes me want to eat cake. Which means I have to go to the gym. Because I don't want to have diabetes or other weight related health concerns that I already know I'm predisposed to. Thank you genetics. 
The cycle just goes on and on. 

I'm getting a cold and my lower back is killing me. I've been short tempered with the kids and gone more than I am home. I can barely remember my husbands name. Let alone the last time we could talk about anything instead of the daily logistics.
I'm waving my white flag.

I'm stepping off this self-induced hamster wheel and running to my bed. Both literally and figuratively.

If you're at that same point as I am, here's your permission slip to step off the wheel.

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