Thursday, August 11, 2016

When I'm not sure what to say

Sometimes  I run into people that I'm not sure how to handle. Maybe they are straight faced and hilarious with a dry sense of humor. Or maybe I'm so insecure in trying not to say the wrong thing that I freeze up and say nothing. Or sometimes even a person is so immersed in sorrow and grief that there is nothing I can say to make them feel better. So I say nothing again.

However, there is something that can be done when I am not sure what to say. It's not a platitude or an awkward laugh. The thing I can do when I don't know what to say or how to react vocally is to do.

In the face of the difficult person I can't get a read on, I can smile and be genuine with my words. To the person I am insecure around, I can acknowledge the level of my embarrassment, being vulnerable and hope the person gives me some grace. If they don't I can remember that we all walk thru hard things and that can make us hard to be around.

To the one that is heartbroken and staring into a deep dark nothingness, I can sit beside them in silence. I can hold their hand. I can do a load of laundry or wash some dishes. I can be present for them as people have been present for me in difficult times. I can acknowledge the hurt. Cry with them and agree that the hard things suck and are unfair.

When we have nothing to say, we can do. We as communal creatures can be there with openness and a genuine smile. That is enough. That is always enough. It is enough to be with someone.

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