Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Truth About Lying

The truth is, we all lie. Every. Single. Person. on this earth has told a lie. Or has not said something and that is lying too. I would even go so far as to say that lying is part of human nature. From the time we can think our very first thoughts, I believe we have the capacity to deceive. We might not know that is what we are doing, but we can do it.

That is why we have so much distrust within out relationships. We all know that we all have the capacity to tell lies.

But is it right to lie? 
Sometimes, yes. To spare someones feelings, yes it's alright. Maybe. Do I tell the mom of the ugly monkey baby her child is adorable? Always. Do I tell my kids they are doing a great job when what I really want to do is correct whatever it is they're doing to how I would do it. Absolutely. Do I tell the friend who loves leopard print that she should really avoid animal skins for a more flattering look?  It depends on the friend. 

We lie all the time to cover our butts. Self'-preservation is a powerful thing in a human being. 

Coming from someone who was a habitual liar. As in I lied about the dumbest things. Example:
Mom: Did you comb your hair?
Child Me: Yes. 
Mom: Then why is their a rat's nest on the back of your head? 
Child Me: Blank Stares and returns to the bathroom to fix the hair. 

I get the pull of lying. I had things I didn't like to do as a kid. Now there are things I don't want to do as an adult. But every single time I lied as a kid or try to lie as an adult, I get found out! Because all things done in the dark are revealed in the light. So why do I even try and deceive others? To deceive God?

Since I know that I am a liar, I KNOW that kids lie for the dumbest reasons. My favorite lie I hear from my children is I'm full. Then two seconds later they want dessert. They lie about washing their hands, flushing the toilet and washing their hair. Kids lie about eating their lunch at school, homework, brushing their teeth, screen time. They even lie about lying. It's ad nauseum. Their mouths are fountains of lies. It's exhausting for me to keep track of when they actually tell the truth the first time. I don't know how their brains can even come up with all the lies, let alone keep track of what they are lying about.

Then they get so angry when we call them out on it. How do you think I know kid? 
I also was a liar!

So how do I teach my kids. how do you teach yours, that lying is only appropriate in very specific situations? Like if it keeps them alive, is to protect someone they love, or it spares their mother's feelings. How do I make that distinction to them? 

'Cause this is a necessary truth that needs to be learned. That lying is alright in certain instances but not in others.

My hope and prayer is that one day my kids will grow up and realize that my telling (yelling) at them to just tell me the truth will sink in. That one day they will see, as I eventually did, that it's just easier to say what really happened the first time around. The truth sets us free, the lies entangle us in a web. Some lies are good for society, but the rest are destructive to real relationships. 

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