P is for Procrastination

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P is for Procrastinate. Even writing up this blog post required some serious procrastination. I had to go on a little trip. Then there were the three different levels of Candy Crush I had to defeat. Let's not forget the mountain of laundry I have to do today because we didn't get home until late from the trip already mentioned. There were snacks to eat and tea to brew. My kids needed to be told what to do. I had a book to read, and a million other things that needed to be done. All in the name of putting off what I needed to do here, on this blog.

Why is that?

Why do I put off that which I love to do?

It has been said that perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. That the fear of not doing something perfectly causes us to remember all the things that need to be done so we can avoid taking a risk doing something that could bring joy to us. 

Creating something is scary as all get out. I get that. I've been fighting the battle to create thru writing since I was in college. I've put off sharing truth and baring my soul in the name of busyness and productivity. All that delaying my souls calling and serving others was never enough to get to a place that the desire to write and share stories has gone away. It just left me feeling angry, depressed, unfulfilled and resentful of that which was necessary to do and those that might hinder my steps towards my calling. 

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Walking around the circle of procrastination just leaves me feeling dizzy and unfulfilled. Then I feel guilty about not doing what needs to be done. Then I feel resentful that all this stuff that needs to be done gets in the way of me doing the things I actually want to do. 

SO WHY DO I STAY IN THE HAMSTER WHEEL OF PROCRASTINATION???

Because it's scary as all hell to get off of the wheel. 

Maybe, I need to think about all the ways it would be scary NOT to get off the wheel. What if answering the call to do my creative thing brings more fulfillment than just existing?
What if choosing to put aside Candy Crush brings more joy than defeating that next creepy candy creature?
What if, getting the necessary done and putting aside the distractions of media, movies, tv and brain-numbing pursuits brings more wonder, hope and kindness to the world? My own and the one we all get to be a part of? 

What if I put aside my fear of failure to choose instead, the possibility of purpose? 

Will you join me? 

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