Embrace the Dark

It has been a long journey for me to be alright with embracing my feelings. All of my feelings. As a kid I saw that only some feelings were alright to express. That others only came out behind closed doors. That only certain people could express certain emotions. At church I learned that people don't know how to handle the more difficult emotions of fear, sadness, depression, anger and betrayal. When someone experiences tragedy we are quick to offer an act of service but slow to sit in the pain of that loss. 

To quote Brene' Brown, "Feeling vulnerable, imperfect and afraid is human. It's when we lose our capacity to hold space for these struggles that we become dangerous." Dangerous? How do we become dangerous about feelings? Feelings are just those things inside of me I avoid. 

Unexpressed feelings become dangerous because what we do not recognize in ourselves pours out onto those around us. Unexpressed anger can become road rage. Unexpressed fear becomes anxiety and worry to the point we shut ourselves in our home terrified of interacting with someone else. When I don't express my guilt over something I become adept at blaming everyone else for my poor choices. 

When we close ourselves off from experience pain, sadness, fear and anger, we also close ourselves off from healing, joy, courage and peace. We as humans do not have switches for all our emotions that we can turn off and on at will. It's a universal on or off switch. When we shut one off, they all go off. When we do embrace the dark emotions of depression, anger, fear and sadness we may discover truths about our past, ourselves and the reasons behind our actions. 

Unchecked and not dealt with emotions also play havoc on our physical bodies. It's called a somatic reaction. Ignoring anxiety can lead to rashes, migraines, muscle and joint pain. It can even go bigger and lead to things like heart attacks and strokes. It is vital mentally and physically for us to handle our emotions. 

If we were not taught the skills of how to handle emotions in a healthy way, we should seek counsel with a older friend, a counselor or a support group. Emotions are a necessary part of life. They are how we know when something isn't right. Or when something is exceedingly right. To embrace the dark and light of our hard emotions is to embrace the full capacity of our human existence.